It seems we’re well enough into the year where New Year’s resolutions start drip-dropping out of our minds. We let go of them quite easily with the adamant promise to ourselves that NEXT year will be different. Oh yessiree next year. But for now….
- Gym memberships get placed in the drawer and forgotten.
- Dreams of self-employment get overshadowed by the debt incurred at Christmas time
- The vegetable crisper gets emptier and you once again have to push really hard to close the door on the processed foods cupboard.
I remember listening to the audio tape of The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. In it she says that at one point (after childbirth I think) in her life she got extraordinarily heavy (140 pounds — I’d KILL to weigh 140 pounds again). And you know how she lost the weight? That’s right my friends, she “thought herself skinny.” She visualized herself at a certain weight and sure enough she achieved her goal in no time flat.
So what’s wrong with you? What’s wrong with me? Whatever our New Year’s resolution was, why have 98% of us already dumped it? Why do we do this every single year, so consistently that fitness companies thrive yearlong based on the reliability of January sales? Are we daft? Do we fail to visualize properly? Do we lack mental clarity? Or is there more at play? Is Byrne presenting only the tip of the iceberg, showing us the point of arrival and keeping the real process submerged?
It’s the same with self-employment. There’s a wonderful plethora (abundance if you will) of guru’s who are ready to “teach” you the “secrets” of instant success. Just drop $900 here, $5,000 there, and if you really want to succeed, buy the full package for only $49,995.
We’re so driven to secrets of instant success that the addiction part our brain does the quick math ($50,000 of knowledge will buy me $100,000+ of annual success, so how can I fail?) and quickly overrides the logic part of the rest of our brain.
In my book, The Three Strategies of the Unstoppable Woman, I talk about accountability. Accountability, in a nutshell, means own your own shit. Law of Attraction gurus sell this as “You have attracted everything that has happened to you in your life.” Which is bullshit plain and simple.
Accountability means you own (ie respond to, deal with) what has happened to you. Then, you draw a thick line in the sand that distinctly separates what happened to you from who or what did that to you. So if you were abused, your responsible for dealing with what has happened to you and moving on in life; the perpetrator is the one with the serious problem that requires intensive therapy. If you’re overweight, your responsibility is to eat better and exercise more; what got you into the situation is bigger than you, and is a whole separate issue.
(Food orgs are corporations with a legally mandated obligation to increase their shareholder’s investment every year; human consumption does not increase at the same rate as shares, so food becomes more manufactured, more addictive — eg msg triggers neurons to want more even if the stomach is full — and more attractively packaged and marketed). Weight loss (from pharmaceuticals to gyms) is a multi-BILLION dollar business. The tax base is great. So why would governments want to regulate food and health into lower profits?)
Start looking within yourself folks. The gurus who promise you secrets and instant success are simply reaching into your pocket. Entrepreneurship is hard. That’s my most people work for someone else. Weightloss is hard. That’s why the industry generates billions of dollars every year.
There is no “easy button” in your brain. There is no easy button in life. The adrenalin you feel when you walk on fire or walk into an arrow or “survive” a sweat lodge is nothing like the dogged momentum you need to run a business, doing the same mundane thing everyday, facing rejection after rejection after rejection. If you want to walk on fire or walk into an arrow or do a sweat, great.
But don’t expect that hyped adrenalin to see you through the solitary slog actually required to get to where you want to go! and don’t expect “thinking” will achieve the same result as “doing.” Especially when your goal requires some really tough doing.
Sit in an empty room and “visualize” your favorite gourmet meal all you want; if you stay sitting until you’re achieved your mental goal, you’re going to die of starvation. Chew on that for a while.